Mercy

     Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.

     By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.

     Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two <days wages>, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’

     Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked.

     The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

This story is from Luke chapter 10. I have heard it my entire life it seems. But today something was different in the reading. Today, I realized that all too often I am the priest or the Levi. Some people will read this and think that because I live and work at a retirement center that I have the chance all the time to be a good neighbor. In the everyday sense, maybe, but it doesn’t cost me anything to be a neighbor here. As a matter of fact, they pay me to be the good neighbor here.

So I started thinking about the last time it really cost me, sacrificially, to be a good neighbor like the Samaritan above. And sadly enough, I cannot remember the last time. Unfortunately, I can remember many times, like yesterday, when I was headed to church or some other “Christian” event that I passed someone on the side of the road who might have needed help. Instead of stopping to see if assistance was needed, I continued on my way not wanting to be late or miss my event. More worried about myself and where I needed to be, I failed, miserably, the good neighbor test.

When Jesus asked the man who the neighbor had been, he said “The one who showed him mercy.” If being a good neighbor is showing mercy, then not being a good neighbor would be not showing mercy. This bothers me to no small amount because of the words of Jesus’ brother James. In the second chapter of his letter, James says that “there will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.” The thought of God not being merciful to me is frightening beyond description. Mainly because, more than anyone else, I know how much mercy I need.

Don't waste what you can't get back.

What a day. I am already emotional and physically drained. That being said I’m not sure this is the best time to be writing this. Especially considering my day is far from over. So if I start rambling, please forgive me.

Today I have been to my CR (Celebrate Recovery) Step study at Graceview church and worship service at High Praises. I have a new discipleship class this afternoon. Both of my morning events were powerful in their own way—several people gave their lives to Christ today. This put me on a good emotional high for the trip home, even though I still felt troubled in my spirit (as of this writing I have not figured out why). My mind kept running back and forth between ministry involvement (one point in our service) and some thoughts concerning my relationship with someone in church today. This makes for an interesting car ride home (45 minutes worth).

I got home just as the staff had finished serving lunch to the residents, and walked into a conversation about one of our residents who recently moved due to shutting down our nursing facility. I was close to this resident while she lived at the center and was hoping to go visit her this week. During the course of the conversation, however, I found out that she passed away last night. I was rather heartbroken to think that I had missed one last opportunity to spend time with this precious lady.

That thought put on my mind the main reason why I am writing this. Papa God has been speaking to me lately about relationships—family, friends, even my future martial relationship. I have been challenged to (1) begin investing into the lives of other men for friendship and growth, (2) renew and grow my relationship with family members, and (3) start praying for and journaling to my future spouse.

What I thought about today is not a new thought. Actually, it hasn’t been that long ago that I was very painfully reminded about it. We never know when either of ours last day will come. So let me encourage you, if there is someone in your live that you feel you should get to know better, do not hesitate or put it off until tomorrow. Today, let that person know how you feel and get their input into how to build that relationship. Do not, I implore you, think that tomorrow will be soon enough, because that time may never happen.

Men, we are mostly terrible about opening up to other men and getting to know each other. I once heard a thought that has stuck with me and is a key reason why I do what I do. A man was challenged to look forward to the day of his funeral. He was asked the question, “who do you see carrying your casket? Are there six or eight guys that you have invested enough of yourself into that you can say that they would be your pallbearers?” It bothers me even to this day, (at least now, I am working on it) but, I had to say no. Even today, I cannot say that there are 6-8 men who would automatically step up (out of love and friendship) and be willing to carry my coffin.

If you have a family member that has become distant for some reason, do everything in your power to restore that relationship. Nothing that I can think of right now is worse than having a strained relationship (or none at all), with a member of the family. Now you may say that you have done everything in your power to fix things. If you can honestly say that, then I encourage you to pray that God would change hearts and fix that relationship.

If you have romantic feelings toward someone that you have not shared, you are wasting your most precious gift, time. Even if you find out they do not feel the same way, you will be saving time that would otherwise be wasted. If that person knows how you feel already, great! Continue to work on getting closer. Build that relationship. If for whatever reason your feelings toward that person have changed and you have not told them, tell them. Don’t wait!

Again, waiting is wasting time, and time is the one thing we can never buy, bargain, or steal more than what you have. You have only so many seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and years in this life. Why waste any of that most precious gift due to fear or pride. Invest into people. Remember, whatever you plant, that will you harvest; whatever you reap, you will sow. Plant seeds of friendship, kindness, and love into other lives and watch what an amazing harvest you get back.

For my Wife

My friend, Jonnett Barrick, is getting married ( http://jonngirlonamission.blogspot.com/2012/02/gettin-married.html ). One of the things I found most interesting in her blog is how she has prayed for her future husband for two years without even knowing who he was. I have often prayed for the future spouse of my children but have never prayed for my own future spouse, until now. I started this practice myself, praying for the woman that Papa God is preparing for me to serve and praying that He would prepare me to be a godly, loving, leading husband, and have found an unexpected peace concerning my uncertain relational future (for those of you who don't know, I am quite single at the moment).

As I have begun preparing myself for that role, I was lead to go to the Real Marriage Tour conference by Mark and Grace Driscoll. This two day event, March 23-24 at NewSpring Church, is based on their book Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together. Being as they will be the primary speakers, I began following Mark (@PastorMark) and Real Marriage Tour (@RMTour) on twitter. Reading Mark's post one day, I followed a link to an article that talked about writing in a journal to your future spouse. Ironically enough, I have a small journal book that I have been trying to decide what to use for. God has impressed on me the need to start using this journal to write notes to, thoughts about, and prayers for my future wife. It might sound a little strange, but I believe that this is what I am suppose to do.

So now I begin to intentionally seek the well being of my future wife over myself, which is exactly what I have learned I will need to do in order to have a lasting, happy and fulfilled marriage. Needless to say, I am again very excited to see what God has planned for me, and her.

Twice As Far As Ever Before.

It has now been 70 days since I have given in to my addiction. This is twice as long as any other time that I can remember. What an amazing change that Abba is working in my life. I can honestly say that I have grown more in the last 10 weeks than in any other period of my life, except maybe a stretch in 2005 (I believe I was closer to God then). And yet I still feel like just a baby beginning to crawl while watching so many others run. I have so much more to learn. 

Most days I am on a fairly even keel, but sometimes my world rocks terribly. I have days when I feel like more than a conqueror and days when I feel like a colossal failure, days when I understand my past is what shaped me into the man I am today and days when regret is too close and too bitter to handle. There are moments when my being single produces a feeling of loneliness like a lead blanket wrapped around my shoulders, as if I was on a desert island. Other days I could not be happier with this season of my life and the prospect of what Abba is doing.

I have begun to understand what it means to be a friend of God's and of others. I still struggle with understanding and allowing myself to feel things emotionally, though, which is one of the pitfalls of pornography. I trust that Abba knows what He is doing and where He is taking me (most days) although I cannot see it myself. There are times when I wish He would show my everything He is doing and other times when what I see already scares me to death. But I like it because I am beginning to understand at least a little of my purpose.

My eyes have been opened to things in the last couple of months that I never dreamed. Emotional walls and stereotypes that I never knew I had. Truths that I have heard for years that I am seeing from a new perspective have shaken my beliefs and ideas about many things, including church, purity, relationships, pride, possessions and faith. I know without a doubt that right now I am exactly where Jesus wants me to be. I know that there is an incredible journey laid out before me, though I am not sure yet of anything except the destination. I want more than ever before to run the race set before me, cross the finish line, throw my rewards at Jesus' feet, and wrap him in a hug as I enter into the presence of my Savior, Redeemer, and Friend. To Him be glory forever and ever, Amen.

Faith like a child

I was thinking the other day as I walked around the complex where I live about child like faith or faith like a child. I have heard that phrase a good many times in my life but had never really been able to put a mental picture to it, I know I'm slow! Then the Lord brought the idea to mind that there is no greater time of year to understand child like faith. It is so simple that I am amazed I didn't see it sooner.

The best description of child like faith that I have personally ever seen is this--when you tell a little child that an over-sized elf in a red suit will ride around the entire world in one night on a sleigh filled with toys pulled by magical flying reindeer and if they have been good he will come down the chimney and fill their stockings...and they say "Really, I want Santa Clause to come to my house and bring me a toy!"

Most children buy into it 100% without a shred of doubt or hesitation! Why? Because someone who loves and cares for them told them that it was so. Almost everyone of us believed in Santa while we were growing up. And we only stopped believing because we came to understand that there was absolutely no proof or possibility that he could exist and do what it is said that he does. Yet, as an adult, when the Creator God who is all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving, who cares for every minute detail of our life and has proven himself over and over again, tells us something, we either refuse to believe him or we want proof.

What Abba Father, Papa God, our Heavenly Father wants more than almost anything is for us to trust him with the faith that we all too often reserve for fictional characters or other frail, imperfect human beings. Things and persons who will always let us down. But when we take that child like Santa faith and trust our Maker with it, our faith is rewarded, supported, and honored for no better reason than it pleases him when we put our faith in him and take him at his word.

Romans 14:23 ...and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
Hebrews 11.6 And without faith it is impossible to please God...

LOVE OR LIKE

LOVE is unconditional, LIKE is conditional. Love puts no importance in what someone else says or does. In fact, true love will cause us to reach out to someone even while we are being hurt, while like makes us walk away from someone who may be hurting because they do or say something we do not like.

I write this, as I do most things, because it is what God is teaching me. Moreover, I must confess this is not a lesson that I thought I needed to learn. Oh was I wrong. I was condemning someone who abandoned and hurt me while at the same time considering abandoning them for what they had done. Can you say hypocrite? As I pondered whether I wanted to give that person another chance because of what they had done, God hit me with the realization that in thinking like that I was doing to them the very same thing that I was mad at them for doing to me.

Can you imagine the number of Bible verses and commands that came flooding into my mind? The first, ironically enough, was one that I thought I needed to post on the bulletin board at work. For, of course, I thought that others needed to see this verse. It is Colossians 3:13 and I have personalized the pronouns so I guess you could call this the Me Edition (ME)…

                I must make allowance for other’s faults and forgive the person who offends me. Remember, the LORD forgave me, so I must forgive them.

How humbling it was to have a verse written out on a 3 x 5 card to memorize, share and be ready to hit others with, only to have the Holy Spirit hit me between the eyes with it. I had read that verse to myself practically every day for weeks. I guess that goes to show you how hard headed I am. Sometimes it really does take forever for things to sink in.

Jesus told Peter that we should forgive another, not up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22). How often do those of us who call ourselves followers of Christ, me included, throw away relationships, friendships, marriages, etc., because we are offended, hurt, misused, or otherwise treated badly just once? Shame on me and the rest of you who, like me, have failed to do what Christ has commanded.

God loves us even when we are his enemy (Romans 5:10) and commands us repeatedly to do the same (Matthew 5.44, Romans 12:14, 1 Peter 3:9, et. al.) So if we are told to forgive our enemies, how much more should we forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ, our relatives, our friends, our mates? I have seen it repeatedly in churches and so-called Christian relationships where a person commits a sin and is immediately judged not worthy to be a part of that church or relationship any more. How sad it must make Papa God to see us so hurt those who need us the most. I find nowhere in the scriptures where we are told to exile or otherwise end a relationship based on a single offense. Even multiple offenses are to be handled with the intent to restore the fallen, not throw them away.

Therefore, now that I have said all that, I come full circle, and offer my most humble apology to anyone whom I have so treated or even thought about treating that way. I pray that I will learn what it means to love without conditions and without judgment so that I may shine with the love of Jesus for others to see. I pray that you too will offer forgiveness to those whom you have conditionally loved so that you might be an example to all the world of what true Christian love is.

Intro

This bog is intended to show how Jesus Christ's restorative grace and mercy can bring an addict into recovery and take the hurts, habits, and hangups of a rescued soul, heal him and use him for God's awesome glory.

Hi, my name is Wayne, I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ, and I struggle with pornography, sexual addiction and lust. This is my story of recovery and I give all the credit, praise and honor to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.